I'd like to start by saying that I hope I'm not unintentionally breaking any rules. I'm definitely not intentionally breaking any rules. I'm reaching out in hopes of some guidance and advice, and tough love if I need it.
I was raised in a non-denominational church with values based on the teachings of Jesus. As a teenager, I definitely went through a rebellious phase and rejected Christianity, which was kind of like jumping off a cliff for me as I had been very devout up to that point. I'm not sure whether or not this is what lead to turmoil and a loss of community in my life because I had a lot of other things going on at that time, but I'm now in my mid-twenties. I have taken a serious step back to evaluate my values and how those are reflected in my life. I miss the community of church. I'm not sure where else to find that kind of connection and support. I miss many of values represented in church. I find myself wanting to reconnect with those values of love, service, compassion, forgiveness, fellowship, and gratitude.
But there's one value I don't have, and it's holding me back from Christianity and going to church. I don't believe in God. I don't believe Jesus was divine. Those concepts ring hollow for me, despite being raised in Christianity. I don't mean that offensively. I respect that belief in others, and ideally I would find that in myself. I've done some deep soul searching in the past few years, trying to see if there is anything in me that can accept those concepts into my own set of values, but I can't even find the metaphorical cliff I jumped off, let alone try to climb back up. I want to connect with people with those values. I want those kinds of people in my life. I want to support them, have them support me, and be a part of a community based on a life of service because I see the goodness in people who truly live a Christ-centered life and I want to cultivate that goodness in myself.
So I guess my question is, should I even go to church, knowing that there is nothing in me that accepts the most fundamental value in Christianity? Should I try to connect with people in a place they go to connect to something I don't believe in? I feel that it would be wrong to disrupt the sanctity of church, like I'm being selfish wanting to reconnect with that community when I have severed the most basic bond between us. I'm not necessarily asking if people would be nice or if people would be welcoming. I know that they would. I'm asking if you think it's possible for me to eventually be accepted as church family with such a fundamental difference of opinion between us. And if it is possible, maybe for some advice on how to navigate such a difficult situation and what to look for in myself and others.
Thank you for taking the time to listen.
Submitted January 14, 2017 at 08:19AM by Unknown
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