I don't know where else to get this out. I'm becoming bitter and angry. I'm quickly losing control of my temper. I just feel like trash, and it's causing me to become bitter. Every single thing about myself that was propped as good has now been dragged down as bad. Everything that a person can hurt me over, I've been hurt over in the past 4 months. Every insecurity that I'm aware of has been hit by the person on earth that I care about most, and this person has caused me to have new insecurities. They went from telling me all of these things that made me feel good about myself, to now completely ruining me. I love them so much, but I'm starting to hate them. I'm becoming bitter. I'm just sick of being hurt. I've been hurting since my birthday. I get manipulated into accepting their apology, even though they will do it again and again. It almost feels like they enjoy making me feel like dying. My relationship with God is slipping because of this. Things that felt real are now being fake. I hate it. I want to give up on everything. Truthfully, the only reason I'm alive today is because I'm scared of dying. I love Jesus, but I'm feeling lost. The bible doesn't speak to me the way that it used to, and prayer doesn't feel the same. My passion for learning more has faded, I would love to accidentally die right now. I'm not suicidal anymore (there's not chance of me doing anything), but I think that I'm becoming depressed again. I don't know. All I want to do is sleep. Work sucks, because all I do is think. I'm becoming bitter and angry. I no longer feel love the way that I used to. I don't know why I'm writing all of this. I'm sorry.
Submitted January 11, 2017 at 10:37PM by Unknown
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